On writing and narrating stories

We all write ourselves into something... our destiny, our relationships, our image of ourselves.

Sometimes our image of ourselves relies heavily on tearing other people down to build ourselves up, to reinforce how we want to be seen or how we believe we are seen. Some people write fictional narratives to justify their choices, to make themselves look better in the eyes of others, in their own eyes. These people refuse to see anything else other than what they've written about themselves and others, forsaking logic and honesty.

Other times, we nourish others, listen, try to reason, be honest and try to be peaceful in order to reinforce how we want our story to go.

Of course there are many in-betweens...

Some people choose a career and a path at an early age. One of my good friends decided to be an ob/gyn as a teenager and chose to have a big family. She's now practicing in the field she chose for herself and just added her fourth child to her family. She's been with her husband for twenty years and they are only in their early thirties. I've found beauty and inspiration in her strength to move through her tragedy to continue towards the destiny she chose for herself.

After recalling her story and experiencing my own tragic experience, I'm revising what I've allowed to be written for me. I've had many people give both solicited and unsolicited input on what my story should look like. Many people had good intentions and spoke with love. Only a small few, wrote a narrative so false, so ugly, to tear me down to build themselves up. For a while I bought into the narrative and believed portions of the story, questioning myself, my choices.

I'm remembering these people who write untruths do so to bolster their own narratives which bolsters their egos. These narcissists who write whatever they choose whenever they choose do so for themselves only. These people from whom I'd like to escape, but they've written themselves in such a way, that they will always be present. All I can do is remember the truth about these people.

As I remember the truth, I revise their place in my own narrative.