Thursday, September 9, 2010

On what God knows..

Tonight Elijah was reading from his book, God Knows and I heard him read aloud, "He heals the brokenhearted." I didn't pay any attention until I heard him say "Granddaddy and died." I asked him what he said. "Granddaddy shouldn't have died."
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"It says, "God heals the brokenhearted. God shouldn't have let granddaddy die. He should have healed his heart."

I stared speechless in amazement. Tears formed in my eyes. I smiled at my boy. I kissed him and told him I loved him.

He asked, "are you sad, mommy?"

I said, "yes."

He hugged me, patted my back and told me, "it's ok."

I haven't teared up over my dad's absence in quite some time. And my amazing 6 year old boy thought about his grandfather who he last saw at 18 months old and remembered that I explained in little kid terms that my father's heart stopped working and that was why he died (almost 2 years ago).

Elijah believes in God and God's ability that it only made sense to him that God could stop someone from dying since God is in the business of healing the brokenhearted.

It wasn't until I opened the book that I read the sentence before the scripture: "He knows just how sad I was the day my goldfish died." Elijah's brilliance was returned to above average intelligence (thank goodness) after I learned the context of the scripture. However, I'm even more shocked that Elijah didn't fixate on his own dead goldfish and remember that I never replaced the creature. Instead, he thought of a man he would never remember. He didn't think about being sad. He just thought about why God wasn't on his post.

I'm at amazed at what God knows and chooses to do and not do. I'm amazed at what God has given me in these two boys.

Saturday, September 4, 2010

The silence is eerily welcome.
The disarray on the floors,
and bedrooms
that in my mind.
The chore list is long
I hear a baby
when there isn't